Healthy Boundaries
for Kind People®
A Personal Revolution For a Lifetime of Healthy Boundaries
We have retired Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® as a course and experience.
The work will find life in new ways, including a book of the same title, and through Randi’s work.
THANK YOU
A Personal Revolution for a Lifetime of Healthy Boundaries
Dear Kind Person,
If you are kind, traditional advice about boundaries has likely failed you. It doesn't work because it doesn't feel right and it doesn't jive. It doesn't feel like an extension of you or your kindness.
Traditional boundary advice doesn't offer a way of cultivating and tending to healthy boundaries that considers who you are or what your experience has been. You need a personal solution that nourishes the deep roots of your life and allows kindness to be your superpower.
You see, kind people need solutions that feel kind, or they won't do it. Or worse, they try it but because it's not "them", it feels like it backfires.
We “do” boundaries differently,
which is both a revolution and revelation.
Healthy Boundaries Unite
The conversation around boundaries has changed…
and it’s a missed opportunity.
As folks have become more aware of boundaries and the need for them (this part is great!), they’ve been co-opted into something that are not actually boundaries and feels divisive (this is the part I don’t like). But they don’t have to be.
Boundaries, done right, are unifying, amplifying, peaceful, and a form of giving and of self-respect.
“Randi and HBfKP® have changed the trajectory of my entire life. I’ve gone from feeling withdrawn and avoidant to being confident in my ability to navigate personal, social and business situations with genuine grace and kindness.”
— ELLA R.
Healthy boundaries that FEEL GOOD are possible.
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® will help you:
Stop carrying the heavy burden of always doing the “right thing” for everyone else at your own peril. Instead, you’ll discover the lightness and delight of doing what’s important to you and close to your heart. Let THAT be your contribution to the world.
Eliminate old patterns at work, with colleagues, bosses, or in your own business, and replace them with a path to get ahead, be seen, heard, and respected, paved with kindness (as one of your assets).
Break free from the spell and hold, of narcissists and bullies. Even when they are your parents.
Stop feeling bulldozed over and undervalued because people just assume you’ll do things for them, or that you have nothing better to do than what they want you to do. Transform this into being valued, respected, and appreciated by them.
Let go of the rage and frustration you feel about your loved one’s choices, and instead, find a way to support them without being enmeshed in the drama.
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People®
OUTCOMES
Learn how to navigate boundaries for a lifetime of healthy relationships
Some of the things our students have said after leaning and applying this work:
Decided whether to get divorced (or not)
Stepped out of empirical family dynasty to establish life on their terms.
A tenured professor and department chair was able to navigate the needs of their department while getting out from under the pull of university politics to make good choices for themselves and their colleagues.
Reconnected with their longest friendship, the last link to their past, even in the face of profound political and religious differences
A freelance writer quadrupled their income after boundaries around contracts, payments, and scope of service.
Renegotiated their contract with a movie studio.
Mother-in-law stopped unexpected visits and assuming everyone would follow her vacation dictation (plans)
Able to start dating “healthy” individuals after a lifetime of unhealthy and/or abusive relationships.
A caregiver that found themselves again while finding new ways to navigate the care of an elderly parent.
After being passed over by doctors, advocated for her health care to get a proper diagnosis and treatment.
Changed the trajectory of adult sibling dynamics to share the care of their parents.
Removed toxic law partner from the practice.
Finally felt like she learned how not to disappear or fade in the face of conflict.
Stopped assuming they must’ve done something wrong when someone was unpleasant or upset and found new ways to navigate this.
Brought constructive and civil discourse back into their university among growing “cancel culture”.
Found they could have boundaries while managing chronic illness where they are dependent on others but felt they were at their mercy.
Found and nurtured friendships with the value of reciprocity was present and honored.
Took a stand for themselves without feeling like a jerk.
Gracefully opted out of hosting all the holiday celebrations by default.
Navigated a way to keep the overbearing grandparents in their kids’ lives while no longer being overbearing
“For help on boundaries,
Randi Buckley really is the best.”
— Denise Duffield-Thomas
The Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® Journey
Here’s how it works:
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® is a layered and
tiered learning and coaching experience with two pathways:
1) Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
or
2) Fundamentals/Level 1. Get started and get going…
Here’s what each pathway looks like:
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE is the full “personal revolution for a lifetime of healthy boundaries” package and experience. I’ll take you through ALL THREE LEVELS of this work while doing deep discovery, excavation, finding YOUR words, greater ease, accessing and trusting your inner knowing and worthiness. I’m told it’s a journey of profound self-respect and amplified kindness. It’s also a lot of fun.
We think THIS is the path for deep and profound experience you deserve. We have built in breaks for integration and outstanding personal support.
We kick off on September 12th, 2023 with Fundamentals. Then after an integration break, we reconvene for the next layer, “Depth”. After another integration break, we’ll go next level with “Beyond”.
Upon completion of “Beyond/Level 3” participants are eligible to pursue licensure to teach and facilitate the curriculum. (Licensure is a separate training.)
You’re welcome to our alumni community and to alumni benefits.
Each “level” you get a personal coaching session with Randi.
You’ll have 45 live sessions (workshops, coaching office hours, private coaching)
There are payment plans available, for up to 12 months, at no additional cost or penalty.
Upon completing Level 3, participants are eligible to pursue HBfKP® Licensure.
Tuition is $4000 and can be made in either 12 payments of $333, nine payments of $444, two payments of $2000 or in full.
Tuition reflects not only our dedication and the lifetime impact of this work but also our genuine wish to establish an authentic and enriching partnership during our time together.
Tuition is non-refundable.
Here’s what we’ll do and the details for each level:
Start dates for “Depth” and “Beyond” are approximate.
Fundamentals/Level 1
We start with the building blocks and foundational principles of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® to get you on solid ground with new, healthy, refreshed and effective boundaries that you can feel good about and implement with ease. We want you to get up and running with skills and communication you can use to feel confident and build your boundaries muscles. You’ll start to see (and say) things differently, more like you, AND have the skills to feel healthy changes in your relationships while building confidence, skill, and your boundaries muscles.
Six Live Workshops, eight Live Coaching Open Office Hours to personal support and bespoke solutions, and a downloadable Fundamentals workbook.
Includes a private coaching session with Randi.
Meets Tuesdays at 12:00 PM (noon) Pacific Standard Time
Fundamentals begins September 12th, 2023
Depth/Level 2
After a post-Fundamentals integration break, you’ll build on your solid foundation and go deep into understanding and repairing relationship dynamics, understanding (and believing) your worthiness, navigating other people’s behaviors, and making sure your responses and behavior is consistent with who you are and how you want to be in the world. Special emphasis on boundaries and health and effective communication. We take all you loved about Fundamentals to the next level.
Six Live Workshops, eight Live Coaching Open Office Hours to personal support and bespoke solutions, and a downloadable Depth workbook.
Includes a private coaching session with Randi.
Meets Tuesdays at 12:00 PM (noon) Pacific Standard Time
Depth begins November 28th and meets on the following dates:
1) November 28th/December 1st
2) Dec. 5th/8th
3) Dec. 12th/15th
4) Dec. 19th/22nd
5) Jan. 9th/12
6) Jan. 16th/19th
7) Jan. 26th
8) February 2nd
Beyond/Level 3
You are ready to take HBfKP out into the world! We’ll transform even more relationships in your life, learn more of the “how” and “whys” of psychology, coaching, and Biomimicry behind this work and how to use it in a variety of contexts to support yourself and to support others. “Beyond” alumni are eligible to continue toward their HBfKP Practitioner licensure and advanced study with Randi.
Six Live Workshops, eight Live Coaching Open Office Hours to personal support and bespoke solutions, and a downloadable Beyond workbook. Includes a private coaching session with Randi.
Meets Tuesdays at 12:00 PM (noon) Pacific Standard Time
Tentatively scheduled to begin in late February/early March, 2024.
Let’s Recap
When you enroll in Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE (the full journey with private support) or Fundamentals by itself, you get the following:
Live
Workshops
Classes are Tuesdays, at 12:00 PM (noon) Pacific Standard Time. Live classes with Randi to learn, adapt, & apply the work. HBfKP® LIFE participants renew this each level.
Weekly
Coaching
Live Coaching Open Office Hours with Randi on Fridays, at 12:00 PM (noon)Pacific Standard Time. Community learning with
personalized support. HBfKP® LIFE participants renew this each level.
Course
Materials
As part of the course, you’ll receive a downloadable workbook.
HBfKP® LIFE participants also receive three private sessions with Randi, access to our alumni community, and alumni benefits. Whoop, whoop!
Choose your plan
Fundamentals
$1000
Includes:
18 Live sessions with Randi
Fundamentals Workbook
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-Pleasing
Payment Plans
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
Includes:
42 Live sessions with Randi
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® Workbook
Three Private Coaching Session with Randi
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-PleasingJoin the HBfKP® Alumni Community
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
PAYMENT PLANS
to $333/month
Includes:
42 Live sessions with Randi
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® Workbook
Three Private Coaching Session with Randi
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-PleasingJoin the HBfKP® Alumni Community
$4000
A PEEK BEHIND THE CURTAIN
Some of our Teachings
I work from a palette of depth psychology, simile and metaphor, coaching, a splash of Buddhist philosophy, and my own earned wisdom; wrapped in a container of intuition, mischief, and compassion. Here are some of the topics we pull from throughout the three layers of
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People®
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Most everyone who comes to the course says, "Just tell me what to say!", and I get it. AND without the deep work of the previous modules, a script will fall flat and serve as a confirmation bias of doomed boundaries. That's why I teach you to be able to craft and speak what is true for you. Not as a mantra, but as a skill you can use for life.
In this module, we’ll finally get to the “what to say!”
We'll look at how your communication might be getting in the way of your healthy boundaries (i.e., the ways we think we're being helpful, but possibly alienating our listeners) and how to articulate your boundaries effectively and with greater ease.
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Oh, we're not done! Communication of boundaries is big. And complex. You will not find a "50 Way to Say No" script here. That's helpful for a few days. On the other hand, knowing how to speak your truth effectively, while honoring your values, and being proud of your communication, is a skill for life. I want that for you.
In this module, we support you as you hone articulation and communication as a skill. You can stand on this solid communication foundation to hold your ground, honor your words, and amplify your kindness… all while articulating your boundaries!
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In this module, we’ll seek to understand the mechanisms between boundaries and their impact on health so that we can do it differently.
Research continues to prove what we've known: boundaries are closely and intrinsically linked to mental and physical health. Boundary violations, until resolved, live in the body, potentially manifesting into alternative ways of saying "no". To be clear: We are staunchly against blaming or portraying folks as victims.
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You're likely someone who feels the energy in the room, can sense tense situations, or absorbs the energy of others. Am I right? That's why we look at energetic boundaries in this module and learn how to emit vibe we want, rather than soak up what is. Won't that be a nice change?!
And BIOMIMICRY! My greatest mentor and teacher of boundaries is nature. Nature is made of healthy boundaries systems, ecosystems, and organisms. We'll use this lens as yet another tool to find your way in navigating boundaries through Biomimicry Design Thinking.
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My take on People-Pleasing is that People-pleasers derive their self-esteem and worth from what they can do for others. And it gets tricky because as with Emotional Labor, sometimes you WANT to do the things the world is shouting at you to stop doing. It becomes a paradoxical conundrum of expectations, care, identity, and boundaries.
We take it all on! Then we set you up for the changes you want and need.
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And in the end, it comes down to ourselves. In this module, when we look at boundaries with ourselves, it’ll include our thoughts, habits, clutter, our relationship to money, stress, technology, and the like. While I could start the course here, I want you to come to this space, possibly the most important of all, with all the tools you have already learned, knowing which ones you prefer. All that you have learned so far can be applied here, to you.
We'll create your Boundaries Bill of Rights, a charter and living document, grounded in your worthiness, and oriented to your hopes. We make sure you have what you need to move forward, with healthy boundaries for life.
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We begin with muscles. Now maybe you’re asking, “Really?” But boundaries are like a muscle is where we start.
This is the beginning. You'll choose a relationship to focus on during the course so you have something to apply your learning to. This’ll help move the material from the theoretical to the real and transformational. As you start to lift boundary weights to build skills, strength, and confidence to move forward as we deepen the work and impact, I will be there to support and spot you.
It's natural for our students to ask, "But how?!". The how will come as we work through the course but it needs to begin with an aspirational and desired to take on boundaries.
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This module is profoundly simple, yet life-shifting in its elegance. The garden is a metaphor for your life. You’ll create visuals and models to serve as your garden map. It starts as descriptive but becomes prescriptive.
As you become a gardener and curator of healthy boundaries, you begin to tend the soil to cultivate exactly what you desire, independent of what others in your life, do, think, or say. Here we start to rearrange your inner world to reflect your values, which yield bountiful, healthy relationships.
You don’t have to have a green thumb or a love of gardening and this will still work (and I think you'll really dig it!).
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Next, we take the knowledge harvested from the garden to deepen our learning and forward our actions. An internal compass of beliefs and worthiness guides your boundary beliefs and decisions. In this module, we make the invisible seen and learn what and WHOSE stories have been calling our subconscious shots.
I'll guide you to find what early life experiences and messages would've better served you such that we can take those, along with newly excavated values, to become your North Star, or for our friends in the Southern Hemisphere, our Southern Cross.
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Turning to our bodies again as a source of knowledge, we trade a major tenet of conventional boundary advice for somatic wisdom. Like a spine, boundaries need to bend and flex while supporting you. (Really.)
We’ll also take on self-sabotage. You’ll identify self-defeating behaviors and better understand how they’re actually trying to protect you, so you can mitigate their impact and affirm your boundary desires.
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This module dives into the core of what’s underneath your boundary challenges. In my research and experience in working with boundaries, I've identified six major types of boundary busting-beliefs, including worthiness (rather the lack thereof), Fear of Disappointing Others, Fear of Abandonment, etc.
Together, we'll uncover yours.
In uncovering your personal amalgam of boundary challenges, you'll learn to alleviate feelings of risk and high stakes and learn ways to remove much of your boundary fears from the equation.
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As a river flows and is never the same place twice, our lives, too, require boundaries that can meet complex and dynamic needs. In this river, we deftly navigate rapids of boundary pushback. In this module, learning how to handle pushback is critical to your new boundary process. We identify the very human behaviors of Spiritual Bypassing, Idiot Compassion, Compassion Fatigue, etc. All things that have come at the cost of you!
I'll help you move toward ways of being that support you in doing the good you want to do without losing yourself.
Lovely Words from Lovely Folks
“HBFKP is part of Randi’s natural medicine for the world.”
RACHEL COLE →
“Randi is patience, kindness, wisdom and love.”
SAS PETHERICK →
“Working with Randi has been transformational.”
CLAIR MAHON →
“When you meet Randi, you will crack wide open.”
ERIKA HINES →
Even more kind words this way…
READ MORE TESTIMONIALS →
"Working with Randi and learning from her has been life-changing.”
“No hyperbole here – and completely shifted my mind frame (and behaviors) regarding boundaries."
— Dr. Lilia Graue, MD, Mexico City
"Randi has given me the courage I need to say no.”
“I’ve struggled with boundaries all of my life. But after working with Randi Buckley I have learned to set and enforce them - while still maintaining my kindness. I’m forever grateful for her wise guidance.”
— Theresa Reed, The Tarot Lady
MEET YOUR INSTRUCTOR + COACH
Hi, I’m Randi Buckley
and I’d like to kindly rock your world.
While that sound like a line that might get a drink thrown in your face, it's also true. I love this work and know it can rearrange the atoms of boundaries. I want to support you in feeling safe, respected, valued, and heard in your life and in your relationships.
I learned Healthy Boundaries as I grew up, and refined them after some really harsh life lessons. I’ve had some pretty amazing guides and role models myself. All of my work revolves around finding your truth and being at peace with it, particularly in life’s stickiest situations and profound questions. I live Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® every day.
I've worked with thousands of folks from around the globe, from entrepreneurs to royalty, and human rights attorneys to Fortune Five leaders on finding their truth and doing the work to be at peace with it. That’s exactly what we’ll do.
I’ve designed courses for the likes of Deepak Chopra, The Omega Institute, and lots of other folks you know. My courses are deep, transformational, fun, experiential, and are life-changing. I don't have a high horse to get up on and am quite down to earth.
You'll feel my presence and get deep and insightful support.
“Randi is the real deal.”
“After a few years of contact over the inter webs, Randi and I spent a couple of days together and travelled through the magic of Big Sur. Maya Angelou said that you can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. Can I add to the list: a road trip with a tired small person and a soundtrack involving ‘five little monkey’s’ on repeat?!
As online, in person Randi is patience, kindness, wisdom and love. She has such a deep and quiet calm, combined with a quick wit suffused with the dirtiest laugh. She quickly gets to the truth and heart of matters.
Randi is the real deal. She is as mighty as a Californian redwood and as vivid as the orange wild poppies that edge Highway 1. I just love her."
— Sas Petherick, Coach, Author, Bristol, England
You need an experience that is transformational, not just informational.
This is it.
A live and guided course with personal and nuanced support and application.
The Fine Print + FAQs
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Live workshops and coaching are held on Tuesdays and Fridays at 12:00 PM PACIFIC TIME. We’ll break for holidays and the like. A calendar will be sent to you with all scheduled workshops and coaching times.
Coaching Open Office hours, where you can come with any questions you have about course material or applying it to your circumstances, are held on Fridays. You’re also welcome to just come and listen, even if you don’t have any questions in mind!
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Yes! Each class will be recorded and as long as there is a minimum number of people at the Coaching Open Office Hours, those will also be recorded.
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While scripts can help get the ball rolling, I am far more interested in helping you learn to find your own words, strength, worthiness, and ease when it comes to your boundaries. I don't want you to be dependent on someone else's words but to feel confident in your own. And I’ll help you craft your words.
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Yes! Through this work, I have discovered that many of you don't identify with being “kind.” Sometimes that's a difference in perception and sometimes that's just not how you'd label yourself, which I'm not going to ask you to do. BUT if you are someone who values kindness, compassion, and fear of confrontation, then you'll get tremendous value from this.
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I want you to be in the best hands for where you are at right now.
This is not for folks who are better served by working with a psychotherapist right now, nor is it a substitute for medical or mental health care.
If you are currently processing deep pain, memories, or trauma from boundary violations, I ask that you get professional therapeutic support. You can do this program in tandem with professional mental health support with the written support of your mental health professional.
If you have questions, please contact me through my “Contact” form at the top of this page. And seriously, a lot of us have been there and it can and will get better. I wish you great healing.
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Tuition is non-refundable. Please be ready to do some good, and deep, work.
I don’t do guarantees. Here's why: I encourage, and help you, apply this work and the learning to your specific needs and customize it in ways that work for you. Everyone comes to this work with different life experiences and you will need to make it your own.
Telling you exactly what will happen for you, and forcing your hand in order to meet an arbitrary guarantee, isn't how I do my work, nor how I want you to do yours. What I promise is that I show up, and deliver, a course I am wildly proud of because it has helped so many in profound and life-altering ways. And... you have to do your part in doing the deep work and applying it in ways that work for you.
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I’ve tried nearly every platform out there, and we’ve landed on one that I like the best is Ruzuku.
Let’s Recap
When you enroll in Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE or
Fundamentals by itself, you get the following:
Live
Workshops
Classes are Tuesdays, at 12:00 PM (noon) Pacific Standard Time. Live classes with Randi to learn, adapt, & apply the work. HBfKP® LIFE participants renew this each level.
Weekly
Coaching
Live Coaching Open Office Hours with Randi on Fridays, at 12:00 PM (noon)Pacific Standard Time. Community learning with
personalized support. HBfKP® LIFE participants renew this each level.
Course
Materials
As part of the course, you’ll receive a downloadable workbook.
HBfKP® LIFE participants also receive three private sessions with Randi, access to our alumni community, and alumni benefits. Whoop, whoop!
Choose your plan
Fundamentals
$1000
Includes:
18 Live sessions with Randi
Fundamentals Workbook
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-Pleasing
Payment Plans
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
Includes:
42 Live sessions with Randi
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® Workbook
Three Private Coaching Session with Randi
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-PleasingJoin the HBfKP® Alumni Community
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® LIFE
PAYMENT PLANS
to $333/month
Includes:
42 Live sessions with Randi
Healthy Boundaries for Kind People® Workbook
Three Private Coaching Session with Randi
BONUS Workshop:
Say Goodbye to People-PleasingJoin the HBfKP® Alumni Community
$4000
Uncertain? No worries. Let’s chat.
I am ALL about folks doing what is right for them, because…boundaries. I’m delighted to chat with you to help figure that part out. Please schedule 15 minutes so I can answer your questions, you can get a sense of working with me, and the like.
I’m ridiculously non-pressure and hope you find the chat a safe space to explore your options. You can schedule over here, to the right.
Please note, “no-shows” will not be rescheduled, because, again… boundaries.