IT'S TIME FOR KIND FOLKS TO HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
TO LEARN, FEEL WORTHY, SPEAK, AND KNOW THEM & THRIVE.
Boundaries are the infrastructure for your life and relationships.
You want them to be healthy, easily articulated, clear, & kind.
Registration is now closed and class is in session.
We’ll start again in September 2019.
Thank you for you interest.
Please explore our offerings for other ways to work with us!
If you are kind, traditional advice about boundaries has likely failed you. It doesn't work because it doesn't feel right and it doesn't jive. It doesn't feel like an extension of you or your kindness.
Traditional boundary advice doesn't offer a way of cultivating and tending healthy boundaries that considers who you are or what your experience has been. You need a personal solution that nourishes the deep roots of your life, and allows kindness to be your superpower.
You see, kind people need solutions that feel kind, or they won't do it. Or worse, they try it but because it's not "them", it feels like it backfires. I'm ready to show you a new way, which also happens to be both revolution and revelation.
Starts SEPTEMBER 4th 2018
Registration is OPEN
They are an elegant and powerful combination!
It seems it’s the kindest of folks who have the greatest challenges with boundaries. The folks whose hearts are so very big, who give unlimited second chances, who carry the bad behavior or others on their shoulders, all while wanting to do the right thing. The folks who might even think they don’t deserve boundaries, or that boundaries might even be selfish. Or they don’t know what to do or what to say to make things different. The folks who don’t want to turn their back on someone… but are starting to feel like they are suffocating. I saw this in women I deeply admired, and in my sister whom I deeply love.
So I created a way to teach boundaries that uses your kindness as a boundary SUPER POWER.
This is your invitation to join me to learn how!
KINDNESS CAN BE A TOOL TO TAKE A STAND FOR YOURSELF
What we tolerate, we perpetuate, and with your new tools, beliefs, and rewiring, you will use boundaries to AMPLIFY your kindness into the world.
I’m totally serious.
It’s a journey to feeling like you have, tend, and maintain healthy boundaries with ease and without all of the hang ups, guilt, not-knowing-what-to-do, fear of repercussions, feeling like a jerk.
Healthy boundaries are the KEY to everything else in your life, as they are connected to everything in your life.
That’s a big ol’ claim, but I’ve found it to be absolutely true.
By the end of our journey you’ll walk away with tools, skills, new ways of thinking, and a complete rewiring and understanding of how healthy boundaries are the infrastructure to support who you want to be in the world, how people relate to you, and the infrastructure to your kindness.
But the end of the journey comes by way of gently powerful work we’ll do together. Boundaries are SO much more than just saying “no”.
And kindness? We’re all about kindness, from the way the material is presented, the way you’ll experience and integrate your learning, and the way you will be held throughout the course. Humor, compassion, laughter, acceptance, community, and fabulous women create the most magical version of kindness. (Lots of laughter!)
Kindness is also what makes this journey special. It’s only for kind people.
I 'do' and approach boundaries differently than the way many other teachers do.
In fact, many have said it is revolutionary.
Here are a few beliefs I hold around boundaries:
- Boundaries are the container and infrastructure to your life, giving it form and shape.
- Boundaries are connected to, and play a role in, everything you do.
- Boundaries are SO much more than just about saying "no". (And, much more than what you say "yes" to, too.)
- Boundaries are not about what you want to keep out, but what you want to keep, and live within.
- Boundaries are an extension of your kindness.
- Boundaries can be a gift to others to get the best version and experience of you.
I could go on, but here is my bottom line: Healthy boundaries are best created by turning what you value, into a verb.
Kind people have trouble with traditional boundary advice as that advice really doesn’t seem kind. It often sounds like ways you don’t want to be or don’t want to live with yourself. But don’t let kindness fool you. It’s your superpower! It doesn’t mean you get walked on, are weak, or are overly sensitive.
"This course has exceeded my expectations both in terms of the content and in the amount of personalized help I have received. It is truly a course for kind people; you will not be expected to change who you are to create and enforce boundaries. In fact, you are encouraged to get to know yourself and your values and provided with the support to do so. Participating online has allowed me to get great insight from Randi as well as belong to a community of like-minded individuals. Sometimes the universe sends you exactly what you need at exactly the right moment. That, for me, was Randi and this class."
- Jennifer Weibe
You all come to this journey with different hopes, in hope that things will be different. While there are similar stories and desires that lead you here, your situation and reasons are a distinct reflection of the constellation of your life. The Healthy Boundaries for Kind People journey is about making shifts within that constellation, and rearranging, if not remodeling, the people, interactions, relationships and experiences you will have moving forward.
So what might this mean for you?
Within the infinite potential of Healthy Boundaries for Kind People, where will healthy boundaries, that you can feel good about, make a difference in your life? What will be different? What is so very worth having healthy boundaries?
For many, this means:
- The heavy burden of always "doing the right thing" for everyone else, at your own peril, becomes the lightness and delight of doing what is important to you, and close to your heart, and making THAT your contribution to the world.
- Old patterns at work, with colleagues, bosses, or in own business, are eliminated and replaced by a path to get ahead, be seen, heard, and respected, paved with kindness, and now seen as one of your assets.
- The paralyzing feeling of being flustered or fumbling for words when you face confrontation or challenging conversations can be replaced with confidence, ease, and poise.
- The loaded emotional feeling of dread, and guilt ,of being with family can transform into mutual respect or even... (wait for it)... a good time. And sit down for this: even with in-laws. While traditional boundary advice often says to just "cut people out", that isn't always an option, nor what you might want to do.
- Having your spouse, partner, or significant other take a stand for you with their family. Or a boss or colleague, giving you full credit and praise for your contributions and good work.
- Break free from the spell and hold, of narcissists and bullies. Even when they are your parents.
- Feeling bulldozed over and undervalued because people just assume you will do things for them, or that you have nothing better to do than what they want you to do, transforms into being valued, respected, and appreciated by them.
- Being enraged and frustrated with a loved one's life choices, to moving to a position of supporting them without becoming a part of the drama.
DO THESE THINGS MAKE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES WORTH IT?
Yes. More than you can even now know!
"Where to start, when it comes to Randi? Well, I could speak of her calming presence, her grounded beingness. I could wax poetic about the breadth and depth of her knowledge across disciplines and the many threads she brings into all of the courses she offers. I could tell you about the brilliant tools she’s shared that have allowed me to have cleaner, kinder, more authentic conversations with folks.
But when it comes down to, I think that all of that aside, Randi lives what she teaches. And working with her, both in courses (Viking Women Workshop, HBfKP, HBfKP facilitator training), and one-on-one, is one of the best choices I’ve made. She is the real deal, and more, and I’m grateful for our work together."
- Monica Herald
MY NAME IS RANDI,
While that sound like a line that might get a drink thrown in your face, it's also true. I love this work and know it can rearrange the atoms of boundaries. Together with an impressive guest faculty, I want to support you in feeling safe, respected, valued, and heard in your life and in your relationships.
I learned Healthy Boundaries as I grew up, and refined them after some really harsh life lessons. I’ve had some pretty amazing guides and role models myself. Being raised by a Navy SEAL dad, and deeply kind and insightful mom (both are deeply kind and insightful) is a potent combination for learning to set effective and kind boundaries. All of my work revolves around finding your truth and being at peace with it, particularly in life’s stickiest situations and profound questions. I live healthy boundaries for kind people every day.
I've worked with hundreds of women from around the globe, on finding their truth and doing the work to be at peace with it. That’s exactly what we’ll do. And, I’ve designed courses for the likes of Deepak Chopra, The Omega Institute, and lots of other folks you know. My courses are deep, transformational, fun, experiential, and are life-changing. I don't have a high horse to get up on and am quite down to earth. You'll feel my presence and get deep and insightful support.
THROUGH YOUR HBfKP JOURNEY, YOU'LL LEARN...
- Redefine what boundaries mean to you so that it is something lovely that serves you, honors your kindness, and offers you comfort.
- Concentric Kindness, which is a life-changer. It's the model I've created to rebuild the infrastructure of your life so it reflects your wishes and desires.
- Create a framework that you can always and forever turn to, to house and support your boundaries.
- Learn how to keep calm and stay the course when ‘triggered’. Identify and repair encroached boundaries with yourself. Perhaps some that you didn’t know we’re in need of repair.
- Find your unique and specific tools for ‘how’ to cultivate and tend to your boundaries.
- Learn to implement boundaries in all aspects of your life and how to articulate them to new folks and even to folks who aren’t used to you having them, while mitigating backlash.
- The Secret Language of Kind Boundaries- This isn’t about sugar-coating, patronizing, or inauthentic communication. It’s about speaking your truth in a way that lands in the heart of another.
- Find your way back when you get lost, overwhelmed or confused, and kindly transform toxic relationships.
This is just the beginning, actually. And the most important thing you’ll gain is unique to you.
Do the work, participate, let me support you, and you’ll find what you need.
"When I signed up for Randi's Healthy Boundaries for Kind People Coach & Facilitator Training I thought, "I have a pretty good grasp on boundaries...I practice and teach boundaries regularly. This training will be a nice supplement." And that is true.
But you know what? Randi's unique approach has deepened my understanding and practice of boundaries in ways I never imagined! While what I understood and taught before was certainly adequate, it was relatively shallow. What Randi has taught me will be invaluable to the work I do with adult daughters of "difficult" mothers because it includes a deep understanding of one's identity, which is something many daughters are missing. This training has also had a profound effect on me, personally. And that is the hallmark of a program that truly works: when I learn by doing I am able to live the learning and that's the most powerful kind! Randi is a living, breathing example of what is possible! Let her show you the way."
- Karen CL Anderson
1. Online classroom, always accessible.
2. Live calls and chats, for teaching & live coaching.
3. An active private forum to deepen your learning.
Twelve HBfKP Training Modules
My revolutionary body of work for rethinking, creating, having, speaking, and amplifying the things that are important to us, through healthy boundaries. Twelve modules that teach and support how to do this in a way that honors YOU and your kindness. The modules are a blend of video, audio, exercises, and written word to educate, challenge, excavate, redefine, and apply your new healthy boundaries.
Eight Live Training Workshops
Some things need to be taught live and that's what we do in these eight workshops. This is where you get to experience deep work with me and begin to translate it into your own in ways that work for and support you. Workshops are on Wednesdays at 1PM PST and always recorded for those that can't be there live.
Ten Live Coaching/Q&A Calls
Learning something is great! But for it to make a difference it must be applied. Our ten coaching calls are designed to do just that. Live "hot seat" coaching invites you to get the support you deserve in one-on-one coaching with me, and to learn and glean from the coaching your classmates receive. These are first-come first served, or you can submit your questions in advance. Calls are recorded and posted for replay. The calls are via Zoom (video and/or audio) on Friday afternoons, at 1 PM Pacific Time.
Two"Take a Breather" or Integration Weeks
We'll have two weeks where we have no new information! This is time to digest, take a breather, or revisit the parts of the course that felt challenging, tender, or you need to "be with" just a little while longer.
Support in our Confidential & Healthy-Boundaried Facebook group
We explore the themes and have great conversations in a private forum and community. Community and mutual support is a big part of this course, and I work hard to foster that. The community is crafted through our "group graces", healthy boundaries that hold us together and create the container for sharing, connection, and transformation. I am VERY active in the forum, and offer coaching and perspectives there. While participation is recommended, it is not a requirement. And why Facebook? I tell you, I have tried other forums and there is just not the same level of participation as with a private Facebook group. If you loathe Facebook, you will still get a tonne out of the rest of the experience.
This course is three-months long. It is paced so you don't become overwhelmed and feel like you'll never catch up. It is paced to offer insight, a chance to do the work, to get support, and experience transformation. My tools include compassion, non-judgment, safe space keeping, deep listening, humor, presence, and well, me. You have "lifetime" access to the Healthy Boundaries for Kind People course.
Well yes and no. It’s a commitment. A commitment I make to your growth and new way of operating in the world. It’s also a commitment to yourself, not taking shortcuts to avoid doing the work that will change your life. It’s about integration and getting the learning and experience in your bones, so that it can support you for the rest of your life.
To do the type or work and make the types of changes we want to make, there is no quick fix. And really, thank goodness! Boundaries are connected to everything and have their roots deep in our past experiences. Being so dynamic and with such great reach, we need to take the time to do this right. It is rich and beautiful work, with much to uncover. When you start to see all the connections, and the legacies that we are bound by, we see that Healthy Boundaries for Kind People are worth the time and investment. They are everything.
You won’t have to wait until the end of the course to start to feel free. You’ll feel it right away. And all the more as we move forward.
I don’t want to scratch the surface. I want to take you deep.
And The Fine Print.
WHO THIS COURSE / JOURNEY IS NOT FOR:
- If you are looking for scripts and regurgitated ways to say "no", then pass this up. While scripts can help get the ball rolling, I am far more interested in helping you learn to find your own words, strength, worthiness, and ease when it comes to your boundaries. I don't want you to be dependent on someone else's words but to feel confident in your own.
- Can you do this if you don't feel like you're a "kind" person, per se? Yes. Through this work, I have discovered that many of you don't identify with being "kind". Sometimes that's a difference in perception and sometimes that's just not how you'd label yourself, which I'm not going to ask you to do. BUT if you are someone who values kindness, compassion, and fear confrontation, then you'll get tremendous value from this.
- This is not for folks who are better served by working with a psychotherapist right now, nor is it a substitute for medical or mental health care. If you are currently processing deep pain, memories, or trauma from boundary violations, I ask that you get professional therapeutic support. You can do this program in tandem with professional mental health support with the written support of your mental health professional. I want you to be in the best hands for where you are at right now. If you have questions, please contact me through my “Contact” form at the top of this page. And seriously, a lot of us have been there and it can and will get better. I wish you great healing.
- Tuition for Healthy Boundaries for Kind People is non-refundable. Please be ready to do some good, and deep, work.
- I don't do "guarantees". Here's why: I encourage, and help you, apply this work and the learning to your specific needs and customize it in ways that work for you. Everyone comes to this work with different life experience and you will need to make it your own. Telling you exactly what will happen for you, and forcing your hand in order to meet an arbitrary guarantee, isn't how I do my work, nor how I want you to do yours. What I promise is that I show up, and deliver, a course I am wildly proud of because it has helped so many women in profound and life-altering ways. And... you have to do your part in doing the deep work and applying it in ways that work for you.
- You can expect humor, compassion, a request and honoring of confidentiality, non-judgment, language of the gut (not always for delicate ears), and always, always… kindness.
However, if you are interested in the course because you feel manipulated, a fear of missing out, false scarcity, or that any hesitation you have is “just an excuse and means you don’t want it badly enough”, please do not purchase this, as I don’t want to be a part of, or participate in creating that experience for you, because it’s not true.
If you feel this is a path or truth, depth, transformation, and kindness, then I am already doing my job and would love to have you join us. Really and truly... this is important to me, that you feel respected and whole, right away.
You're welcome to pay in full or take advantage of installment plans.
Life Coach, Thought Wrangler, Author
"After a few years of contact over the inter webs, Randi and I spent a couple of days together and travelled through the magic of Big Sur. Maya Angelou said that you can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights. Can I add to the list: a road trip with a tired small person and a soundtrack involving ‘five little monkey’s’ on repeat?!
As online, in person Randi is patience, kindness, wisdom and love. She has such a deep and quiet calm, combined with a quick wit suffused with the dirtiest laugh. She quickly gets to the truth and heart of matters.
Randi is the real deal. She is as mighty as a Californian redwood and as vivid as the orange wild poppies that edge Highway 1. I just love her."
Human Rights Lawyer, Non-profit Director
"Working with Randi has been transformational. Throughout the process I've felt listened to, understood, as though, from a distance- who I am and what I am trying to achieve in the world has been held and kept clear by a dear friend who holds my best interests in her heart.
I've always been one of those people who finds it hard to say no- my whole career success has been built on saying yes when other say no! And this has spilled over into my personal life too. Learning how to honor myself and others through kindly establishing and maintaining boundaries is hard work for me, but very necessary, as to not do so has led to very unhealthy lessons learned the hard way. We didn't know each other before this work; it is just her gift of insight and graceful care that has helped me to feel like this. Working with Randi has not been like regular coaching- she's not afraid to lead by example, which I am deeply grateful for, and she has used so many truly excellent real life every-day practical examples of how to live health boundaries for kind people. This is one of those rare times that just participating lightly meant I have assimilated so much and it has fundamentally changed how I behave and think. Randi has been patient and kind in helping me to be gentle with myself in this process of learning a new practice. I hear (what I imagine might be) her gentle, but firm responses in my own mind now whenever I'm stuck in situation of drawing boundaries, and it helps to remind me of the kindness that can always be used to protect myself and show love at the same time. Randi has been the lived embodiment of the graceful strength that is perfect for guiding this kind of work."
Teacher, Writer, Pathfinder, Coach
"I'm having a hard time putting into words what the coaching meant to me. Nonetheless, I want to share it, even if the words fall short of the truth. Well, it turns out that Randi is the real deal. Seriously? I think she's part magician. Or at least mystic. It wasn't very long into our conversation that she started voicing things that she picked up in my words and energy that were so dead on they were scary. And with only a few well placed questions, she had me digging into demons, identifying the places where I deal with 'imposter syndrome' and voicing big crazy dreams I'd never dared whisper to anyone."
RACHEL W COLE
Coach, Author, Well-fed Woman
"Randi is grease for life's wheels. When I don't know what to do, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships, I call her. She has a way of making the dance of being human just a little more graceful. Healthy Boundaries for Kind People is part of her natural medicine for the world, and I can't recommend her highly enough."
ERIKA HINES, JD
Attorney, Social Change Diva
"When you meet Randi, you will crack wide open. Your gut and your heart tell you to trust her with your thoughts and your ideas. She exudes that 'sense' of caring and deep knowledge that other people say that they have. But Randi has it in deuces and spades. People are very lucky to work with her because she combines practical intelligence with social genius."
"Randi didn't just hold my hand. She held my heart. Really. Let me back up.
In my heart has lived a program. For a very long time, it rested there. From time to time I would whisper "are you ready to come out yet?" and it would stubbornly refuse, preferring the warmth and safety of the womb in which it contentedly ensconced. Yes, it was happy there, but in equal measures, so too was it terrified to come out. And I'll admit, I was a little afraid too. Would anyone love it beyond me? What would it look like? Would it matter to anyone? Would it make a difference? Would it survive?
I brought my heavy heart to Randi. She held it, looked inside, smiled and whispered some of her magic. Then she turned to me, whispered some more of her magic and out flowed my program. Beautiful. Powerful. Smart. Important. Valued. Cherished. Revolutionary.
So yeah, Randi held my heart. And out came the program I've been dreaming of."
Republic of Freedom
“When I saw the opportunity to work one-on-one with Randi to develop my digital workshop, I didn’t hesitate for a second. This woman radiates practical knowledge and deep-rooted wisdom. Needless to say, I was not disappointed! Randi provided the exact direction that I needed- regularly checking in with me about what pieces were still missing, and offering a mix of suggestions that were a great fit for the experience I am developing in this workshop.
What I especially appreciated is that Randi brings her whole self to the process- she thinks about your work and your vision in the in-between times and the benefits of this are manifold. I learned SO much from working with her and it felt rather effortless! She’s like a course-development angel. Just hire her.”
Looking for more testimonials and good things? Look here!
Not your thing? No worries, buttercup. Thanks for reading this far and checking it out.
But if it is your thing, let’s do this!
P.S.: Have questions? Please feel free to contact me.