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Meet Randi Praise New Blog
LEARN Maybe Baby Self Study Healthy Boundaries for Business Healthy Boundaries for Kind People
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Find Your Truth and Be At Peace With It Randi Buckley
 
 
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Welcome to Randi Buckley Coaching
 
Randi Buckley Welcome
 

From tricky to truth, and icky to ease...

We're going to sit down, I'm going to look into your eyes, and we're going to find the truth inside of you. We're going to do what it takes so you feel deep peace with it.  We're going to find your words so that it sings with the elegance, kindness, and fierceness of an anthem.  You are going to feel the embrace of acceptance, smell the scent of self-respect, and the taste of liberation.  You are going to be heard.  In me, you'll get intuition, unconventional wisdom, mischief, sacred space to be you, and new ways of honoring who you are. Then I'll probably fall in love with you, like your trusted big sister, your cool aunt, or the medicine woman who lives at the edge of the woods.  Welcome.  Learn, work with me, or come away with me.  Either way, welcome!

<<  MEET RANDI  >>

 
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Randi Buckley 12 Short Essays for Truth Depth and Beauty Email List
 
 
Randi Buckley 12 Short Essays for Truth Depth and Beauty

Let's grab some tea, hot chocolate, and deep, nourishing conversation under the night sky! Until then, let me send you my little book, Truth, Depth, and Beauty.  I'll also send occasional updates about the going-ons of my work and other things that might be helpful to you.

Or... you can play "Two Truths and a Dare" with me!  You'll still get the book and the updates, but you'll also get to participate in my free year-long offering, a nearly-weekly riff on the slumber-party classic.  You can learn more about "Two Truths and a Dare", here.

Either way, sign up below and we'll connect. You can unsubscribe should you so desire, but it's my hope you find something rich, nourishing, insightful and fun. 

 

 
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EXPLORE THE

COURSES

 

NEW- THE COACHING INTENSIVE

 You need deep, wise, compassionate, non-fluff support, coaching and guidance.  You want to put something behind you, be done with it, and to move on, NOW. 

One month, one big challenge + you and me + six coaching sessions = Radical Progress, if not Straight-up Resolution

Enrolling now, for May!

HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
FOR KIND PEOPLE COACH & FACILITATOR TRAINING

Want to know the underlying challenge of the people you coach, teach, lead, or mentor?  IT'S BOUNDARIES. HEALTHY BOUNDARIES!  
This is my training program for coaches AND leaders, in my wildly celebrated and radically effective Healthy Boundaries for Kind People work.  Keen?  Check it out!
Now accepting applications!

 
 
 
 


“Randi is grease for life’s wheels. When I don’t know what to do, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships, I call her. She has a way of making the dance of being human just a little more graceful. Healthy Boundaries for Kind People is part of her natural medicine for the world and I can’t recommend her highly enough.”

Rachel W. Cole - Coach + Author, Well-fed Woman

 
 
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HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

FOR COACHES AND FACILITATORS
 

 

Want to know the underlying challenge of the people you coach, teach, lead, or mentor?  

It's boundaries.  Healthy boundaries.

Are you working on this with your clients or those you teach, lead, or manage?

Think about it.  Everything starts and ends with boundaries. When we help to teach, support, and create healthy boundaries with our clients, our work has deeper and longer-lasting impact.  And even better... they thrive! 

Healthy Boundaries for Coaches and Facilitators by Randi Buckley
 
 
 
 
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Obligation is not the same as commitment and not an acceptable reason to stick with something that isn't working. It might well be a disservice. #boundaries #healthyboundaries
The Difference Between "Nice" and "Kind" I want to teach you about kind boundaries. If boundaries don’t feel like they can be done with kindness, kind people won’t do them. Which is a huge bummer because boundaries are the infrastructure for the life we want to live, and the scaffolding of kindness. There is a huge difference between "nice" and "kind". Nice is about pleasantries, keeping folks comfortable and not rocking the boat, sometimes at a cost to what’s important to you. It's not always a bad thing. Except when it trumps "kind". And coming from "nice" might have other costs: self-respect, resentment, anger, feeling like you're not showing up fully as you. This does nothing to serve you or the people in your life. “Nice” is the act of keeping others happy, but “kind” is grounded in respect, including respect for yourself. “Kind” respects all involved. "Kind" is an equation that includes you. When “kind” is absent from a part of the equation, it’s ultimately disrespect. It’s often our own side of the equation we are willing to sacrifice: kindness toward ourselves. But by not including kindness toward ourselves, we put distortion and misalignment into the mix. The interactions, decisions, and relationships that don’t make room for the equation of “kind”, carry the weight and energy of that distortion. This is where “nice” alone, misses the mark. “Nice” is willing to bear a burden to relieve others of something unpleasant. But if it is an unwelcome burden, once placed on our shoulders, it becomes the weight of disrespect. What I think we forget is if people realized you were carrying this burden, many would feel sad, or even guilty about it. And that’s not kind. Most people would rather have everyone’s concerns be respected. Some folks might even feel like an unwitting accomplice to burden, if they were aware of the misaligned equation of action and desire. And even if folks don’t care, it still is unkind to you. See how that goes both ways? Here’s an example: You want to be nice and buy someone a holiday gift, even though it’s not really in the budget. After all, they are getting one for you, and they ... (continued in comments)
My first office hours for the Healthy Boundaries for Kind People Members! St. David and I are STOKED!
Don't let somebody else's tagline become your truth.
Sometimes. It's wise to check.
There seems like there is so much emphasis on "moving forward" after loss or regret. Like this is what we should strive to do, or what the goal is. A sign that all is well and we're no longer at controlled by puppet strings of complex feelings and emotion. But I disagree. Instead of moving forward, what if we followed the direction of our heart? Moving forward indicates there is one path out, a predestined location, or a Fire Exit we must run to for safety. Following the heart means you move to where you need to be, honor that, and allow your own course to where you want to go.
There is now a Healthy Boundaries for Kind People app! Members get it tomorrow :)
I'm mostly offline, getting ready to open the Healthy Boundaries for Kind People Membership tomorrow, but this keeps popping up in my mind. Again.
I used to agonize and punish myself, indefinitely, for my screw ups. Like if I suffered and sabotaged myself enough, it would eventually make up for it. As if it were the moral and righteous thing to do. If someone were on the other end of my screw up, I resigned my right to happiness, peace, or moving beyond it. I stayed in that space indefinitely, feeling the shame and pain of it all. It wasn't martyrdom for their sake, but throwing ourselves on a sword of shame for our own, often unknown to anyone else. Well this does nothing for anyone, except offers a small, early death to a part of us. It does not change the situation, but keeps us suspended in it, narcissistically. It does nothing for others when we stay down or writhe in our own pain. It does not advance humanity and it does not serve other people. It's not repentance. It is the exact opposite of making it right. So what do I do now (or remind myself to do)? I get up. Right away. I dust off my hands and know that the greatest way I can make it right, is to not give up on myself, nor think so little of others that they could only accept me as a failure. That is selling other people short and not seeing the deep good and compassion in them. We owe no one our suffering. So if you are there, and think you must stay down, as you don't deserve to get up, or that you owe it to others to not, I ask you to stand up and keep moving. Your (or my) staying down serves no one. Get up. And know this is welcome and the very thing that makes it right.
"But look at all I've sacrificed... I don't want it to become a waste." Often I hear that someone feels that it might be best to leave their relationship/grad program/job/project/something you made big changes and/or a financial commitment for... but they sacrificed so much and they don't want that sacrifice to be for nothing. And so they stay. Stay in something that isn't right, whether it was not quite what they had in mind, or downright detrimental. So, they continue to sacrifice. But now it is a sacrifice of truth, ease, and of the future. Most all things will have times of doubt and times of challenge. Those are times to take a look at things and recalibrate. Life is a river, and the navigation will always require different things from you. But if recalibration leaves you with a continued sense of "this is not right for me... and will not become right for me", listen. Sacrifices and personal investments can be substantial and for the right things, they might feel worth it. But if you are staying out of obligation to your past sacrifices (work, time, money, fertility, etc...) it's a commitment to something that is no longer true for you. It's a sacrifice of the future out of an obligation to the past.
Goals.
 
 
 
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