Dare to Disengage

This post came after the Fantastic Lissa Boles invited me to be part of her "Dare" series last year. I said, "yes!" (Thanks again, Lissa!  You're awesome!)


I dare you to disengage.

Not yet. Wait and kindly keep reading.

I dare you to disengage, to unplug, to remove yourself as the circuitry from a conversation, situation, a moment, a relationship, a thought… that is not one you want to be a part of.

Disengagement says “not like this”. It’s a powerful thing to do. Sometimes, it is the kindest and most compassionate thing for all involved.

I’m a big believer that we don’t have to show up to every argument we’re invited to- but so often we want to show up to plead our case, reason, take a stand, offer an olive branch- only to have it (repeatedly) used to try to poke us in the eye.

Disengagement can change the landscape to something better. It might offer an end to madness or a temporary breather while changing conditions and emotional states. Thoughtful disengagement immediately takes the sting out of pain and suffering in a context that is not working; whether a big- deal, or more of an uncomfortable pebble-in-your-shoe situation.

Sometimes we perpetuate pain and suffering (our own and others’) under the guise of being responsible and doing the right thing. That burns. But a fire only needs three things: heat (ignition), fuel, and oxygen. There is no fire without fuel. Disengagement redirects your energy to another possibility. Thoughtful disengagement might be enough to dampen a fire burning out of control or stop the burn completely.

A dare to disengage is not a cry to abandon, or an invitation to forego humanity.

It is a heartfelt invitation, in the right situation, to let your actions speak to who you are and what you are willing to be a part of.

It is an invitation to not let pain and suffering masquerade as kindness or trying to ‘do the right thing’. It is removing yourself from circuitry that is faulty and redirecting your energy toward respect and love.

It might take more energy and courage to disengage than to let a fire burn or an electric current continue to flow, as there is so much energy that wants to be expended. But it is wise to shut off the electricity before re-wiring.

A dare to disengage is an invitation to compassion, respect and a healthier way… for all involved.

Ooooh.  Does this have you intrigued?  Then I'd like to invite you to check out my Healthy Boundaries for Kind People course, starting on April 11th.  It's seriously changing lives.

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