Last week the Norwegian Nobel Committee recognized the world-changing accomplishments of three women.  The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Leymah Gbowee, and Tawakkul Karman in recognition of their efforts “for their non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women’s rights to full participation in peace-building work”.  In essence, The Nobel Committee has awarded the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize to The Girl Effect.

What?  Really?  Well, yes.  The accomplishments of these three outstanding women, and all that support them, started with the seed of education being planted into fertile ground of possibility when they were girls.  The Girl Effect is the effect on a girl, her health, her family, her village, her country, and our world when the life of girl is given a chance to flourish, simply by starting her off with education.  It’s the seed that grows and starts a chain reaction of good things like choosing when (or if) she marries, has children, her impact on her community and eventually things that warrant The Nobel Peace Prize.  All by getting a fair shot at going to school.  What?  Really?  Well, yes.

So the Nobel Committee understands this little ditty of an equation:  It’s the equation for The Butterfly Effect: the sensitive dependence on initial conditions; where a small change at one place in a system can result in large differences to a later state (source: New York Academy of Sciences; thanks).  The main difference between these two effects is that we can predict, with radically greater probability, the effect of educating a girl: an elegant revolution with the highest possible return on investment.

A revolution changes the course of our orbit, our world.  It is the simple, initial condition of education. It is the work honored by The Nobel Peace Prize.  It is the right thing.  It is time.  We do this by helping girls.  While we’re not all Nobel Laureates, we all do have the power of butterflies.

The beauty of the Nobel Peace Prize is the light it suddenly shines a light on incredible efforts that most of us were in the dark about.  That too is the beauty of  The Girl Effect campaign.  Fortunately what comes next doesn’t require fancy equations.  It’s really just love.  And action.  But mostly love.

Let’s educate girls.

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RB: Hey Danielle! How are you?

DL: Hi, hi, hello, I’m great. I’m so excited to talk with you.

RB: Excellent! So as I was preparing to talk with you, a movie that kept popping up in my head. I’ll preface with that: It was Moulin Rouge.

DL: [laughter]

RB: [laughter] I was thinking about you, and what I wanted to talk to you about, and the movie Moulin Rouge kept popping up. You know, the movie in part embraced a carnival atmosphere, but the essence of truth, beauty, freedom and love seems to be what that movie is all about.  I think that is very much what your work is all about and having jumped into my own copy of The Firestarter Sessions, that’s very much what I’m experiencing. So, I just want to put that out there.

DL: Mmmm. Thanks for that. You know what I love about that is that you’re paying attention to the themes and the stories and the images that come up. I think so many of us have those little daydreams, or imagery floats in, and we just kind-of, we let it float by, but there’s always connections to be made there. Aren’t there?

RB: Always.  Very cool.

DL: And hot-looking costumes. I mean, there’s the depth of truth, beauty, freedom and love… [laughter] and everybody looks hot, too. [laughter]

RB: There’s something about red crushed velvet that really [laughter] really helps. So that was coming up, and that was really the cocoon which, when I was thinking about talking to you, that I found myself being wrapped in. For me, really having particular interest in the areas of leadership, leadership on one terms, trail-blazing, and then partnership, there are four aspects beyond truth, beauty, freedom and love that, when I thought about you Danielle, really came to mind. And those are: generosity, mysticism, partnership, and there’s something genius — well, I think you’re genius in all these areas — but particularly genius in finding your own voice. So, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to talk to you a little bit about those aspects.

DL: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.  Generosity. Yeah. Ooh, Let’s start with … can I just start with generosity.

RB: Absolutely!

DL: I think the more you give, the more you have to give. And, what I really dislike about corporate strategy is that, that dynamic, the tactic of withholding, and of, of umm, tampering and the pacing and … I mean, of course, you know… Product development 101: you’re gonna come out with this, and it’s going to evolve into this, and … But there’s this holding back, and I see it, I’ve seen it happen creatively with people. Oh, I’m so heartbroken when someone says, “What do I do about someone stealing my ideas?” or “I don’t really wanna tell everybody.” Or “I don’t, I shouldn’t, maybe I…” You know, one of the reasons I left my life in Washington, DC was that I signed a nondisclosure agreement, like I was signing like 2 or 3 a week. It was ridiculous. Um, so, for me that spirit of generosity comes in: I’m just going to give all I have to give right now, and I’m going to — because I feel to — and I’m going to trust that there’s going to be another idea behind this great idea. And, I’m gonna trust that, if this idea is meant to be mine to execute on, um, and to prosper from, then it will be mine. And, I also know, ideas are a dime a dozen. You need to have the cash, or the resources (doesn’t always translate into cash), and you need to actually execute. So, go ahead and share your ideas. None of it matters unless you are actually gonna do it. Um, yeah, like I’ve been saying lately, I always find that generous people have more to give.

RB: Nice. Well you must have discovered that looking in the mirror because I’ve been trying to catch as many of the interviews you’ve been doing as possible and, you’ve got to be close to a hundred…

DL: Am I? Yeah, maybe. [laughter] Yeah…

RB: And you know, prior to that, you know, really giving a lot of your time, um, in addition to creating the Fire Starter Sessions, you know, all your blog posts are just, it’s like nectar for the soul. Do nourishing. And then, I think, you know, what is just incredible, for your birthday — happy belated — , you did the “pay what you can” and, from what I can tell online, you’ve received over seven hundred offers.

DL: Yes. It was nuts. I had no … [laughter] This is such a great experience of me having … Like, I had fair expectations, like, “Oh, you know, maybe I’ll get a hundred and fifty comments on my blog and wouldn’t it great, people can offer me anywhere between twenty bucks and two hundred bucks.” Some people decided to over-pay, which was great, they offered scholarships…

RB: Ooh.  So lovely.

DL: That was amazing.  So Amazing.  I had no idea that that many people even knew I was here. [laughter] And, um, but really, I was so touched by, that it just, it really was this pay-it-forward dynamic; like, you know, two women got together and like, I’m gonna, I’m, let’s do scholarships! And I’m gonna put an extra fifty bucks in for someone who can’t afford it and one guy said to me “I want to pay you two hundred bucks, one copy for me and one copy for someone who can’t afford it,” and THEN, behind the scenes, it was moving and heart-stretching to get, see you know, all the comments of what people were saying they could pay, on the actual site, but the stories I got, behind the scenes via email, are a book in and of themselves. I was just amazed, at people’s honesty, and vulnerability. I was amazed at, um, the hardships of the economy. I was amazed at people’s wealth, and abundance. Um, you know, and there are a few tricksters in that whole mix of people who, you know, want to put ten bucks on their credit card; you know what, that’s not cool. You got a credit card, you can put more than ten bucks on it. That’s, that’s, that’s … I’m not into that. Um, so there were just a handful of boundaries that I had to put up, so I gave people a complimentary chapter and said, you know, when you have more than ten bucks, I’m here.

RB: I like how you handled that.  Elegant and self-respecting.

DL: Yeah, it was a really great lesson for me in boundaries. Really great. There’s probably a lot I could probably, there’s a few articles I need to write on that, but, um, yeah.

RB: Mm-hmm. Well, it’s just, you know, and I was preparing to talk to you and then that happened. I was like “Whoa! I’m on to something with generosity here!” because it was really amazing to watch and I really hear in your voice that it was deeply moving. And still is.

DL: Oh yes, yes. It still is. It’s still, well, I mean just the logistics of processing orders, specific requests and some funky, strange, lovely requests from 700 people.

RB: Oh, wow. [laughter]

DL: Mm-hmm.

RB: Yeah. I mean, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the root of generosity, the word …

DL: Nnn-hnn.

RB: It goes back to Latin, but really the g-e-n, the gen; what’s it mean when we say — you know, of course generosity meaning expecting nothing in return, but the French, ah, how it evolved in French was “of noble birth.”

DL: Mmm.

RB: So I thought that was very interesting. And g-e-n is also the same root as gender, genius, genesis, and genteel. And I that was SO you, all of those.

DL: Mmm. That’s lovely.

RB: Yeah, so thank you for putting that out into the world.

DL: Yeah, it was fun, thanks.

RB: And one more thing, before I move on to the next thing I want to talk to you about that. I’m curious, Danielle, how generosity has helped you find your own voice.

DL: Oh, well, I just want to – I want to be generous. It feels better to be generous, and um, like I said I also have, I have boundary issues [laughter]. I have over-given, and I have over-compensated, um, because I’ve under-given to my self of just, you know, my own self worth. It’s like, I don’t have to over-produce here, I’m enough. And, um, what was the question — how has it helped me?

RB: Yeah. yeah, just curious how it helped you find your own voice.

DL: How it’s helped me find my own voice … My own voice wants to be unleashed, it wants to be unbridled. Um, I want that freedom. I don’t want to hold back in any way. And, you know, I want to be intentional about it, it’s not about being sloppy. It’s about being impeccable. And there’s a purity. And also, I’ve been shown generosity at some very key moments in my career, certainly in my life, but you know, entrepreneurially speaking …

RB: Mmm-hmm.

DL: I’m just so touched by people who were willing to, that have, it was the basic stuff: to have tea with me, to hear my idea, people who wrote me very big checks, um, to invest in me after, after having a muffin. [laughter]

RB: Excellent! [laughter]

DL: People who kept just showing up and showing up and saying, you know, there’s another dimension to this, there’s another, there’s another little loophole we gotta talk about, oh my god it’s just a curveball. And, you know, those crisis times that last for weeks until you untangle and clear it out. I was, ah, wow, you know, late night emails, and, ah, an really people saying from their heart, “however I can help you, I will.” And me calling on them! And them being there, just, I, so touched.

RB: Mmm. Very cool. And it’s really clear that you recognize that, too, that you haven’t taken that for granted at all.

DL: Nnn-hnn, nnn-hnn.

Part 2 Coming Soon!

Here’s the direct link to The Spark Kit (formerly known as “The Fire Starter Sessions”.  I’m a proud affiliate, by the way!).

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I’m not participating in Reverb10.  I think it looks fabulous and part of me wants to join the over 2000 (yes, 2000) other folks in writing about 2010 and setting the stage for 2011.  (If you’re at all interested, do check it out.)  But I don’t want to flirt with being over-committed and I think that might well be the tipping point right now, as there is so much brewing.  I do look at the Reverb writing prompts though and compose a sentence or two in my head of what is true for me.

The first prompt was something to the effect of “what is your word for 2010 and what is your word for 2011?”  I instantly had my word for 2010: pressure.

It’s not too heavy a word when describing my year nor is it to mean things were necessarily negative.  Challenges, sure and these challenges did exert a certain pressure on all areas of my life and business.  I mean pressure as in intensity, forging focus and having to clear out what’s not working to get to what is essential. There’s even been physical pressure- a lingering case of Lyme’s, an expanding belly, etc…  Pressure has been felt, exercised in many forms and I’m expecting, and experiencing a diamond mine of clarity, laser-focus and light.

That clarity, focus and light has not only been fueled by events, situations and responses, but also by some pretty profound people that have played a spectrum of roles in my life this year.  Over the next few weeks, I’ll be using this blog to, among other things, recognize and acknowledge these folks.  They’ve reminded me that we have no idea the impact we make on someone else, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant the gesture or encouraging word.  It’s important to me that these folks and events are recognized as they’ve been cobblestones (if not solid rocks) on my path this year. More on that in the next few days.

What I really want let you know about is that this all culminating in some fantastic and deeply satisfying changes in my work, coaching and how I run my business. I’ll be unfolding  and sharing these here over the next few weeks too.  They speak deeply to my core and how I can be of greatest service and use to the world right now. If it speaks to you, I hope you’ll join me as I move forward.

So, yes some big changes for me.  And they are good ones.  Suggestions that have been in front of me but I’ve looked past and beyond.  Funny how that happens sometimes, but it does happen.  Dorothy had the ruby slippers the whole time but had to make the journey to understand their power, her power with them, her desire for them and that they were right in front of her.  It’s not been unlike that for me.  A different path for sure (no yellow brick road or flying monkeys) – but it’s time to click my heels and move on to the next chapter.

2010: From pressure to changes… queue the Bowie, please:

And all the nice comments that have been left on my previous posts? I look forward to replying, as I have done in my head many times. Trying to work out the kink that’s not letting me do that… yet.

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Not so long ago, a very cool guy I know decided he wanted us, his colleagues, to be aware of the occasional seizures he experiences.  He asked me if this would be alright to share with the staff and I told him that it was completely up to him if he wanted to share at all and of course, up to him what he would say about it.  He graciously, matter-of-factly, yet thoughtfully spoke to an interested and caring group.  He wanted to assure us that he would be fine and to let us know what would be most helpful in that situation.  It was very helpful information and his colleagues were (and are) grateful that he shared this with them.

As we all work with kids, I asked him what he’d like for us to say to them, should they happen to witness a seizure or wonder what was happening.  I didn’t know what the scope of the seizures were, or at that time, how he responded to them.  I wanted to make sure kids were assured that he’d be fine and I wanted to respect his privacy.  Having learned he manages them quite well and that a period of sleep and rest is most helpful, I wanted to know, in his words, what felt like the right and appropriate thing to say.  He looked up a little bit, smiled and said, “tell them I just need to reboot”.

Simple, honest… wise.  Yes, this is what was necessary and warranted physiologically but really- it’s great wisdom for all of us.

Reboot.  The simple idea of taking a break, even a hard shut-down, and coming back with restored power. Smart and incredibly effective.

Why?  Perhaps you get a cold-cortisol shower and freak out when something unexpected comes up or wasn’t part of their plan.  Or you fall behind on deadlines, commitments or projects and begin to feel disappointment, shame or regular-old stress.  Or your challenge leaves you not knowing what to do or how to proceed. Really, the wisdom behind this concept relates to a spectrum of situations or issues.  But the tonic is still appropriate and good.

Rebooting is a timeless idea dressed in a new leotard and perhaps an even more effective take on what is helpful and what works.  It’s quick, allows you to pick up where you left off but refreshed and restored.  Not everything requires a do-over or starting from scratch. Like if you miss an exit on the freeway, instead of driving home and staring over, you pull off the road, get a cuppa joe and reassess.  Stretch your legs.  Even nap if that would help.  Pick up from here. We know this, but we forget it’s available to us.

Yes vacations, retreats, sabbaticals are awesome and needed. (Sign me up!)  But what about when that’s not in the cards?  What can be your go-to ‘reboot’? Something you can have in your back pocket.  A little insurance that you have a go-to plan.  A little assurance that everything will work out.

What’s your ‘reboot’?

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The generous Tara Sofia Mohr has invited me to add a blog post to The Girl Effect campaign. There are some impressive writers contributing to this very, very cool effort, or dare I say ‘effect’. I’m excited to contribute as I intuitively and viscerally understand what this means, what this is all about and why this is so important. But I’ve hesitated to write and I’ve been hesitant to post.

Part of my reluctance is my general hesitation with writing. It’s something I want and need to do more of, to reach you lovely folks, but have never had ‘writer’ as a part of my self-identity. (I’m working on it!) The other piece of hesitation is that right now I’m pretty pooped out. You see, I’m seven months pregnant and while billions of women have gone through and experienced this, MY energy is starting to wane. So I looked at this. Really? Is my energy really not up to the numerous commitments I’ve made? Nope, not in this case. It’s because I’m pregnant… with a boy.

Having a kid was not really in the cards for me. Not in a “hand I was dealt” sort of way, but rather the hand I’d chosen and have actively played.   And my goodness, if I actually did become a mom-type to someone it would for sure be to a girl! I so get girls and the whole array of possibility and unlimited definition for what girl can mean (we’re not one single experience).  I mean:

• I’ve been a camp counselor for well over 20 years… and thrive in working with girls and women, helping them see themselves more deeply, with respect and teasing out the hidden aspects in themselves and coaching them into their own leadership. (Not to the exclusion of boys- it’s just where my strengths have been.)
• I’ve been a doula, studied to become a midwife, even gave workshops on menopause at the factory I worked at when I was 19.  Women’s health is a passion and very intuitive for me.
• I embrace the feminine in me and actively bring it to everything I do.  I marry sensuality with intelligence (most days).  To me it’s as intertwined as a double-helix strand of DNA.
• I’m married to a guy who deeply respects women.  Having three older sisters, he’s very much my man  :)  but is very comfortable with and unintimidated by the feminine.  Of course he’d be a great dad to a little girl and eventual mentor to her as a young woman!
• I was born in the early ’70s when the ERA Movement was hot and felt like a no-brainer to me.  Why wouldn’t women have equal rights? A young activist was forged.
• My idols, mentors, guides, sages, BFFs are all women (with a few notable exceptions- Big Daddy, Joseph Campbell, Jung, Curt, Stellan, Roan, The Beatles… Truls).
• This list could go on, but this post really isn’t about me.  But please trust and imagine the 100′s of other ways it would be a no-brainer that if I were to become a parent-type, it would be to a girl.

So, when I found out that I was having a boy, I cried.  And cried.  And cried. Probably from still being slightly in shock that I was pregnant, the flood of pull-all-punches hormones but also because it felt like a missed opportunity to live, teach and nurture the inherent tenants of The Girl Effect; to be the change.

Then my tears started to dry and soon I did’t even have any because I realized that whole idea is rather silly.  Boys are an important and crucial part of The Girl Effect equation.  Men who value and respect women must be the “other half of the sky” if we (collectively) are to be whole.  By raising and nurturing healthy, thoughtful, emotionally whole, true-to-themselves boys, we are contributing to a better world.  In fact, I’m now just as convinced that this not only a piece of the puzzle but a cornerstone to global change.  As The Girl Effect website wisely states, “THE GIRL EFFECT IS ABOUT GIRLS.  AND BOYS.  AND MOMS AND DADS AND TOWNS AND VILLAGES AND COUNTRIES.”

Of course I’ve known this.  But now with a deeper knowing in my bones I see the possibilities.  I see what it can mean for girls.  I see what it can mean for my son (whom I eagerly anticipate and already love- he rocks!).  It’s wholeness.  For all of them.  For all of us.  And I have much to learn.  But loving him for who he is, and helping him love others for who they are, respect, equality, collaboration, diversity and truth can grow.  Opportunity.  For everyone.

When I work with teams,  business partnerships and social-change leaders who either want to work better and more effectively together or, who want to forge a new, values-based way of doing business, they often come to me requesting a strategy to get them from Point A to Point B.  In letting them know a strategy for this type of change is about as effective as sending out a single memo, I quote one of my mentors and trainers, Faith Fuller, from the Center for Right Relationship:  ”culture eats strategy for breakfast”.  We’re going to have to be the change and own it, folks.  All of us.

A plan and steps are great but if we don’t internally and collectively become, or at least lean into, the change we seek strategy will never be more than a recipe that falls short of  actual and true transformation.  The Girl Effect seeks transformation.  Add in the boys, the transgendered, the moms, dads, other caring adults… and we become the transformation.

You can count my son and I in on that.

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