This originally debuted at the wonderful Roots of She

I didn’t plan on bookending my debut and goodbye posts for Roots of She with Norwegian poetry but it seems to be what I find when I peel back the layers and move closer to the core. I’ve looked at the world through this poem with the words out of focus but more as a lens. So many of you wrote that you loved to see the Norwegian in the last poem (one I penned on my own) so I’ll leave it here in Olav Hauge’s original form. The translation is below.

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In not too long I’ll be again, looking through these words. The echo of the wind is a memory. My hair, once raptured and wild in its gusts now still in the calm. Do we slip away or go out with a storm? Either way, the sail is at ease.

It can be hard to let go. We hold out for the wind to pick up but also wonder if we want to set a new course. I never needed the wind but it did take me. I enjoyed the ride and discovered that it was the wind that needed me. And still does. A sail gives shape to the wind, defines the wild and gives it purpose. Like a long pause, expecting and waiting for music to begin again we suspect the wind has changed, died or blows in a new direction.

In waiting the boat drifts, with thoughts of new directions, new energies, and new possibilities. What is our obligation to the wind? What is our obligation to our own wild self?

Not following our hearts often comes from a fear of betraying who we used to be, at the cost of who we are now.

So we drift, suspended in time as it marches by. We surrender ownership of our days to a passive hope. Sometimes we drift into a current and find ourselves in a new place, sometimes into a maelstrom, finding ourselves being pulled further down. But the drift is a surrender, for better or worse.

Do we wait until the wind might move us again? It’s through the poem I will look and see if what is written in the stars mirrors my heart. The stars are beautiful and bright but like the Northern Lights, my heart wants to dance across the sky. And I’m ready to move again.

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I’ve been invited to participate and give my two cents on self-care, by the sublimely lovely Tamarisk Saunders-Davies and Mara Glatzel, who are gathering up some positive and truth-telling voices to offer another view.  You can check out all of the posts by clicking on the link above.  But I’d be ever so honored if you read mine while you’re here.  Thanks!

Self-care is simply being ok with and accepting all of yourself.  And being ok with one’s self is embracing and accepting your needs, desires and bottom lines.  Otherwise, we relegate the soul to riding shotgun so something else gets to drive what we think we should want, do, say, or be.

If the word self-care triggers you, or its counterpart, “self-love” activates the 12-year old boy humor in you, to the point where it renders it useless, use a different word.  Find a word that has the gravitas and advocacy you require, with lightness you need to make it palpable.

Self-care lets judgment of your needs and boundaries melt away.  That includes your judgment and the judgment of others.  It’s a ‘who cares?’  If you need and want something, you need and want it.  It’s not meant to be a question of worthiness, nor a test of mettle.  If something will serve you, it will likely serve your greater good- and anyone who is touched by your work or presence.  No one is damaged by true self-care.

It’s easy to think a want or need not worthy and berate yourself of having it, especially if it’s not in alignment with who you think you want to be.  It’s easy to think you shouldn’t want or need things.  And, it’s easy to feel shamed by others if your wants and needs, whether simple or grand.  This isn’t just not in service of you; it’s dissing the guidance of your soul.

When the soul is riding shotgun, or worse, in the backseat, along for the ride for another’s destination, it isn’t able to guide you.  I think of our wants and desires as a north star (and I have and will write more about this).  Our guiding stars lead us in the direction we are to grow.  While it might look like we know what lies under that star, we don’t know what is there until we arrive.  It might even be something beyond, but it points the way.

Our wants, needs and desires are the compass of the soul.  Honoring our wants, needs and desires is critical self-care and the affirmation of our very being here.  Navigating by starlight is the stuff of legend, but it’s the simple allowing and meeting of our needs that plots our journey.  Self-care, no matter how simple or grand is our guide in getting us closer to wholeness, actualization and that which is possible.

So Buttercup, don’t flog your wild dreams (the grand) and don’t berate your need for a bubble bath (the simple).  And please don’t let anyone else do that either.  Denial and withholding is a bog of despair, anger and well, bullshit.  You want what you want and you need what you need.  Me too!

Truth and depth in real life can feel like a never ending game of hide and seek.  Listening to and honoring your own self-care, whatever those wants and needs might be, offers the clues and clears the path to find and be at peace with them.  Self-care is a way to be human and a tool in accepting all of yourself, your truth and finding peace within.

Definitely worth wild dreams, a bubble bath and all of that in between, whatever it may be.  Don’t you think?

Want more truth and inspiration from Randi?  Sign up here for notes of truth and heart. 

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Randi’s Course Catalog of Truth, Depth and Wisdom 2013

Courses and coaching in service of your truth, depth and wisdom.  Some new, some beloved ones returning, some online, some abroad.  I’d love to have you join me with the ones that speak to you.  More information about each offering will be listed in time.  And yes, I am still working one on one with private coaching.

And because I’m human, this is subject to change with additions or subtractions. But this is the plan.

MARCH:
“Of Course You Can! Complete creative course and curriculum design for coaches”- THE LAB  (Already 3/4 full)

Good coaches often want to offer courses, but being a good coach does not a good course make.  So many coaches, creatives and healers don’t know where to start in delivering good information but also making it effective.  This course builds on my over 23 years experience in delivery and curriculum design in experiential learning at places like The Chopra Center, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, the Concordia Language Villages and much more.  I will teach you how to create a course that is effective AND offers personal transformation or change for your participants, while you create your course. The is a LAB (it’s beta).  It will be a learning experience for us all.  And it’s already 3/4 full.**  Want in?  Click the link to register.

“Conversation Stoppers” Graceful ways of maintaining your boundaries when you don’t want to talk about it, but want to be respectful.
The is a short self-study course that I’m offering in celebration of my new website.  I’m paying it forward and giving you this course.  It’s also incredibly helpful.  A few women have told me it changed their relationships with their mothers in-law.  Also has many other applications!

APRIL:
“Maybe Baby: For women who hear the whisper of maybe in their hearts”  

Maybe Baby is a group program for women ambivalent about motherhood but don’t want to have regrets later, either way.  It’s about finding your truth and being at peace with it. It’s a life-changer.  I anticipate this will be the only time I run the live, 6-week program in 2013.

MAY: 
“Healthy Boundaries for Kind People” 

Why do kind people have such trouble with boundaries?  I think it’s because ‘the skills and tools’ that have been suggested, feel unkind.  Kind people don’t want to hurt feelings, kind people see a need and want to rise to meet it, often to our detriment and fatigue.  I’m teaching the kind among us how to have and maintain healthy boundaries that are in service of you and what you want to bring into the world… and that you can feel good about.

JUNE:
“Maybe Baby Self-Study” The Next Generation

If the group program is not your thing, or you want to go on this journey solo, the Maybe Baby Self-Study will help you find your truth and find peace with it.  It’s a powerful solo program and will be renovated with new interviews, perspectives and even more content.  I’m excited to release this in June.

SEPTEMBER:
“Territory of the Soul: Norway Retreat with Julie Daley and Randi Buckley”

Northern Norway is a magical place where we will evoke four elements to rediscover the territory of our souls:  music, story, dance and stillness.  This powerful and wildly-fun retreat with a group of incredible women, will start in Oslo and nestle along a fjord in Northern Norway.  Experts and sages in Norwegian and Sami culture will join us to share these elements through their lens, to help us reconnect with our own. We anticipate a spectacular display of northern lights, wild reindeer sightings, beautiful autumnal Norway, laughter and a gathering of kindred spirits from around the world. Julie Daley (the wonderful Julie Daley) is my co-leader.

“Territory of the Soul: Norway- The Virtual Retreat”

We don’t want anyone to miss out, so we are offering a virtual retreat.  If you can’t join us in Norway you can still experience the elements to explore the territory of your own soul.  Julie and I will offer a virtual program with a daily experience akin to each day of the in-person retreat.  You’ll hear from our experts, see video of the land and elements that influence the  guidance and teachings we offer through the virtual and interactive experience.  We look forward to a global community of women to join us.

OCTOBER:
“The Truth of Your Beauty”

What would be different if you could embrace more of you?  All of you?   So many women dim down their brilliance and beauty as we’re afraid we won’t be taken seriously, we’d be vain, that it’s not polite or many of the other myths we surround ourselves with.  In the end this hurts ourselves, because we can’t be with it and cut ourselves off from being whole.  We are all beautiful, so how do we be with it in a way that feels good and clears a path of acceptance for the next generation of women and girls?  We will in this course… and reap the beautiful revolution it will bring.

NOVEMBER:
“Healthy Boundaries for Kind People” With an emphasis on holiday expectations and non-forced joy

Why do kind people have such trouble with boundaries?  I think it’s because ‘the skills and tools’ that have been suggested, feel unkind.  Kind people don’t want to hurt feelings, kind people see a need and want to rise to meet it, often to our detriment and fatigue.  I’m teaching the kind among us how to have and maintain healthy boundaries that are in service of you and what you want to bring into the world… and that you can feel good about.

That’s my catalog!  It’s an ambitious calendar and also one I am relishing.  These are courses and topics that have been close to my heart and move people from tricky and icky, to truth and ease.  All in service of truth, depth and wisdom.  Find what speaks to you… and join me.  I’d love to work with you.

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So Ruzuku is the online platform I use to run all of my courses (currently 27 and counting).  It’s excellent, which is why I run 27 courses on it.  I like it because my participants can be anywhere in the world, sign on and participate in discussions, ask questions, share thoughts, you name it, in addition to getting first class content, learning and discovery.  I also like Ruzuku because I can play videos and audios, upload pdfs, etc… for my courses.  I could go on and on…   But what I like about Ruzuku most is their excellent customer service.  And I’m a stickler for that sort of thing.

But Ruzuku is having a super deal right now and it ends Friday, February 1st.  It’s a ‘save up to $4,000′ deal.  Plus many other excellent add-ins.

You can check out their deal by clicking HERE.  If you have any interest in running an online program or course, you might be interested in this.

And that is what is called an affiliate link.  I suggest Ruzuku all the time and have made had many friends and colleagues thank me for the tip after going for it.  So I checked to see if I could be an affiliate for them.  I’m not an affiliate for many things because I have to love something if my name is standing behind it.  I feel I can stand behind them.

They also said yes to something else I wanted to do:  offer my class, “Of Course You Can!  Complete creative course and curriculum design for coaches” as a bonus for purchasing either their “Jumpstart” or “Mastermind” deals.

I have yet to put the informational page up for this course but it starts in early March and is the PERFECT accompaniment to Ruzuku.  You see, there are a lot of good coaches, creatives and healers who run programs.  But being a coach, creative or healer doesn’t always translate into a creating or delivering a great course (and that breaks my heart).   I want coaches, et al, to not only teach, but help transform their participants.  I’ve been doing that for over 23 years in the ‘big leagues’ (I’m told my street cred is jaw dropping) and often with awards coming from my work.

I will get the informational page up soon.  There are only 25 spots and 8 are already spoken for.

If you use my Ruzuku link to purchase their crazy-good deal (which is renewable for their license, indefinitely), you can also take my course.  It’s a helpful package and completely win–win.

Please contact me with questions, or contact Abe at Ruzuku: abe at ruzuku dot com or 919.593.6129  (Just make sure to tell him I sent you, so you can get my course).

Thanks!

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The Down and Dirty Sessions are a series of two coaching sessions, for you to get down and dirty on moving forward past uncertainty, giving voice to your truth and helping you be at ease and peace with it.

I’m not afraid to get down to your truth and get our hands dirty getting you what you want or where you need to be. It’s a one-two knockout of love and truth with me, to get to the heart of the matter and to resolution.  I believe in you and I can help.  I powerfully hold your truth and space for vulnerability with it.  My clients and colleagues say my work is powerful, graceful and often very fun.  But always safe and loving.

WHAT: The Down and Dirty Sessions- for women only

- Two hour-long, laser-focused coaching sessions to get to your truth, get you unstuck and into action.  Includes a pre-session worksheet so we can jump in and hit the ground running.  It’s a 1-2 knockout truth/love punch!

- Excellent for making a tough decision, difficult conversations, relationship challenges, dealing with uncertainty, getting out of the stuck, re-energizing work or a relationship.  

- Honest down and dirty work without a long-term commitment. (And a great way to get to work with me.)

I offered these two years ago and they sold out in a few hours.  It’s a great way to jump start your year and move forward.  It’s also a great way to get to work with me and try coaching with me, at a great price.  I’m making 15 of these available, and at this price they will go quickly.

The Down and Dirty Sessions are $250 (includes both sessions)

Sales are non-refundable and I encourage you to use them both by early February.

(Read:  Commit and let’s do this.)

Why am I offering this?  Well, I’m going off the grid, with the exception of the Down and Dirty Sessions and my other private clients, for at least a month but maybe longer.  Having this space allows me to do something out of the ordinary and to reach more people.  Two things I happen to love.

I’m tapping the wintry Northern Hemisphere to go inward and to create.  I’m undergoing a renovation.  I’m creating and writing which is bring forth new programs and offerings.  It’s good stuff and it’s potent stuff.  It needs all of my attention outside of my private clients (and child) and I will unveil it to you early in this new year.

I expect I’ll reemerge on social media and in my newsloveletters or blog posts around my 40th birthday, in mid-February, and with a new look no less.  I don’t want to say something ‘big’ is coming… but I will say something fantastic is evolving and coming to light.  It’s for you, it’s for me and it needs to happen.  I hope you’ll join me then but in the interim, The Down and Dirty Sessions are where it is at – and where you can find me.  (Yes, I’m still taking private clients, including Maybe Baby clients, during this time.  No need to sweat it, those of you who’ve inquired.)

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Healthy Boundaries for Kind People

A helpful class with tools and skills you can embrace and use, right away.

Monday, December 17th OR  Thursday, December 20th.

Lots of folks are asking if there will be a recording of the class:  Yes!

This 90 minute class for kind folks helps gracefully establish healthy and respectful boundaries in relationships and conversation.  Especially helpful for tricky family or work situations.  Because you want to be nice and draw the line!  (You can.)

Kind folks in need of boundaries… (Is this you?)

• Say yes and when you want to say no.
• Have a family gathering where you’re hoping not to be asked something (politics, religion, when you’re having a baby, why don’t you call so and so)… and you would like some space.
• You don’t want to offend or have someone feel bad.
• A colleague or boss is asking a little too much or offering too little credit.
• You feel resentment about a person, event, or a request (which you likely said “yes” to).
• You feel responsible for someone else’s happiness.  You’re probably a little tired from that.
• Have a hard time saying what you mean and hoping someone will take the hint.

” Rudeness Is The Weak Persons Imitation Of Strength” ~ Eric Hoffer

• Healthy boundaries THROUGH a lens of kindness and HONORING that kindness is important to you.
• 90 minute class with skills you can use, adapt and instantly apply.
• Philosophy (just a touch) to understand why this works and helps.
• A respectful conversation ‘stopper’ to use when ‘you don’t want to go there’ or have a conversation.
• We’ll take questions via Facebook, so you can follow along or ask your own.
• Handouts and class notes- so you can ‘be’ in and listen to the class without scrambling to write it all down.
• A recording of the class in case you can’t make it live or want to reference the goodness.

Class Fee is $20

This is for you if advice like “tell it like it is” rubs you awfully wrong.  This is for you if you’re told “you’re too nice”.   That might work for some folks but for the kind and big-hearted it leaves you little to go on and stuck without boundaries that feel good.  Kind folks need something to embrace and have it work with the spirit of who you are, for it to work at all.  And it can.

You can still be kind without feeling like a doormat or that you have to sacrifice for everyone else.  In fact you get to be all the more you.

I’m all about knowing your truth and being at peace with it.   Let yourself be kind and compassionate you while feeling like this is a strength.  Your kindness should not feel like your weakness.  Kindness is deeply important to me as are healthy boundaries.  I’ve lived this way for years.

Get this class and use your kindness as your strength!

When you register, make sure to let me know which class you’d like to be a part of.  You’ll get in that class and this lets me know how to plan.

Thank you! 

Preferred day (Mon. or Thurs.)

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